Your Sexuality and Responsibility

Part of your sexuality is what sex you are-- male or female. It's also the way you look, feel, and act. Just like other parts of your personality, your sexuality develops during the teen years. Understanding the changes you're going through makes it easier to deal with them.

Making a Decision
With all the sex being shown on television shows, in movies, and even music videos, it's easy to think that "everyone's doing it", but that's not true. It may be true that about half of high school juniors and seniors have had sex. But, that also means that about half have not. So, everybody isn't doing it.

Ask yourself what your feelings are about sex. Are you really ready for sex? If you are dating, do you know how the other person feels about sex? Make up your own mind about when is the right time to have sex. Don't have sex just because:

• You think everyone else is.
• You think it will make you more popular.
• You're talked into it.
• You're afraid the other person will break up with you if you don't.
• You feel that it will make you a "real" woman or man.

If you are not ready for sex, say so, and stick to your decision. It's okay to say "No" If the other person really cares about you, he or she will respect your decision.

Learn how to say "no."
If someone tries to pressure you into having sex, it's important to learn how to say no. Think ahead of time about lines you might hear and how you will respond.

The following examples can work for girls or boys:

• "If you love me, you'll have sex with me."
  Answer: "If you really love me, you won't pressure me."
• "You're the only one I'll ever love."
  Answer: "Good, then we'll have lots of time later."

Source: Patient education material from the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology was used as a source of information to develop the content for this topic.

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